Neither of us spoke, afraid to break the spell on the nearly deserted beach. Finally when we had almost walked out of beach I felt a tug on my arm and turned to walk the other way. Millie had stopped and was looking out to sea. I noticed that she had a far-away look in her eye. We stood there for a couple of minutes and finally she turned to me, as if she had come to a decision.She said, "Jim, before you say anything let me tell you that I have thought about this for the entire week."At that point I was panic stricken. I knew her next words were going to be that she was leaving me. The bile rose into my throat and my stomach twisted itself into a knot. I had known it would come but I had hoped that if she was happy enough she would stay longer than a week. At that moment I was a defeated man. Her being with me had shown me how empty my life had become and I knew I couldn't face that life again.My feelings must have shown through. She looked puzzled for a moment and then continued,. ”“I know, but its driving me nuts! I want you so bad again!”“I’ve already lost some of my trust towards you since you did that. How do I know that next time you aren’t going to put a knife by my throat?” She said, looking at me with a frown on her face.“I love you very much and I wouldn’t ever do such a thing like that.” I said, with a slightly sad look.“Then explain why you raped me in the basement that day? Locking the doors? Grabbing me using your physical force? If your father was alive, he would have beat the shit out of you and put you in the hospital.”“Look…..the reason I did that was because my hormones got out of control, I already told you. It felt like something jumped inside me, and was controlling me like a puppet.”“It was an evil spirit that jumped inside you. Next time you start to feel like that again, you immediately need to go into prayer.”“There’s no way I’m going to be able to talk you into this, right? Not even just 69ers?”“If you start doing that again, I’m going.
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